Dear Humans -
Please be advised that this an official letter of intent to file a grievance with the union. The conditions that have been forced upon us this last week are totally unacceptable. In the past, we have overlooked your utter incompetence in regards to maintaining a decent lawn upon which to "do our business", even accepting bare dirt patches without complaint. However, we now feel we have no other choice but to enforce your contractual obligation to provide a lush green area of no less than 8 feet by 3 feet, each. If our demands are not met by tomorrow mornings walk, we may be forced to use the carpets.
Alice and Samantha